Yeah. I know, I usually end my posts with a verse, but the entire subject of this post came from this verse, so I'm re-organizing just this once :)
So. We had Christmas break, which was a pretty big challenge for me because there was a lot of down time. And... time to think about missing things, which was not good. So, break was a pretty big struggle for me over all, but even when I went back to work I was finding it hard to not just want to curl up in bed and pretend I wasn't in Madagascar.
Then, I was reading my Bible one night and there was a whole passage on God being love, but the verse above stuck out to me more than the others. "God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." I had been praying for help to want to be here and help to make my heart more like His. I wanted to be able to love people no matter what was going on with my feelings or emotions. I just didn't know how to do it... again... with not knowing how to do things.
How can you constantly pour out when you feel like you have nothing left?
Then. This verse. Abide in love and you will abide in God and He in you.
Boom.
The reason I felt like I had nothing left was because I had stopped giving. That seems counter-intuitive, but when I read this verse it made me think about choosing to love. I wake up in the morning. I may not have gotten enough sleep, I may miss my family, I may not be feeling well... all of these things I can't control. But there's one thing I can control and that can make it all better: choosing to love.
If I choose to love, choose to abide in love, then I will abide in God and He will fill me up again.
Sometimes I'm not sure I get things completely right, so I tested my hypothesis the next day. I woke up, I felt the same as I had the other days before and then I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath and said "today, I will love no matter what, no matter where, no matter who, no matter when"
And I walked out my door. And I had a beautiful day. A day full of smiles and meetings and funny moments. I was happy where I was and as I was giving love to others God was giving love back and I could feel it. It didn't matter how small the love was, whether it was a smile or playing ping pong on a kitchen table, it was still love and I felt like I was overflowing with it.
It's not always easy to choose to love, but I think when we do the reward exceeds the effort.
So. This is now a proven theory. Although, I haven't tested it on multiple people yet so you all can let me know how it goes for you and we can make this thing legit.
Here are some pictures from Christmas and MinJung going back to Korea that I thought I should share with you...
Pedro and Asafe decorating our "Christmas tree"
The neighborhood kids' Christmas party
MinJung before she left for Korea :(
Back to business... prayer requests:
- Health... I've been feeling a bit under the weather the last couple days.
- The Petrelli family as they prepare to leave for Brazil. That they would trust God for the travel, sustaining the language they've learned, and helping them to have enough time with family and friends.
- Prayers for Sandrina, the lady I've done dance things with, as she waits on some support so she can go to Hong Kong in March and eventually start a dance school here.
Happy New Year :) thank you for your prayers, they mean so much and have really been helping me through my time here.
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